We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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