so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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