I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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