just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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