I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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