she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
