we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
