If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
