your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize