I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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