He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
