To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
