I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
