if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
