it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
