The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
