He uses pillows to masturbate.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
