Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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