Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
