Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Maybe he injected his testicle?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
