Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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