you're like a bully in the Christmas story
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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