Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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