4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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