I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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