He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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