I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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