Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
