I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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