Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
