man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
