I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
