I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize