if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
