i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
