we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I need water and some morals
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
