Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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