dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
