I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You were trust falling into bushes
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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