you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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