You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
