shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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