According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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