You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Someone shattered a urinal.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
