google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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