1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
