i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
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