the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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