What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
