the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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