ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
