bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
