How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
