So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
