Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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