please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
