Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
