I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
