I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
