she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
