I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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