yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize